After the last few weeks turmoil with situations at home, delay’s with the house move postponed for another two weeks :(. And a little lapse in my mood towards things and people, I have come to the conclusion that I AM ME!
I will not be dictated to or put down by others, I will speak my mind and act myself, and if people do not like it or have made judgements about me without knowing me for myself then they know what to do.
I was put through something recently that I never thought i would have to deal with, JEALOUSY. I hate this emotion and do not have the capacity in myself to hold this kind of emotion towards anyone. Although a little jealousy in any relationship/ friendship is sometimes a good thing there is a line that should not be crossed. The extreme.
I am lucky to be the type of person that doesn’t hold grudges (well maybe initially but not for long).
Having to deal with this made me in myself go through a lot of feelings.
- Do I leave and give this person what they want?
- Do I stay and put a very dear and loved friend through the hurt it causes them?
I have struggled with these two questions, to leave would rip my heart from my chest as my friend has become more like family to me after everything we have been through. And to stay would mean I would have to watch them go through the pain and agony of having to deal with this and i didn’t want that to happen either.
I just have to bite my tongue and hide away, things all happen for a reason and maybe others should start seeing it that way.